Ok, so let's be honest now. I'll tell you about how horrible of a child I was. Nobody ever believes me because I'm such a nice person, or so they tell me. So this story makes it even more fun to tell. When I was nine, I had a family that lived behind my house through a little patch of trees, and one Christmas, out of no where I decided to steal presents from their house. I didn't actually come up with a plan to steal from them, it was just one of those spur-of-the-moment type situations. I went over to their house and they went home, so I decided to walk in their UNLOCKED door. AGAIN, I barely remember most of this since it was 12 years ago, but going inside seemed like a good idea at the time. And if you know my family and how much my family procrastinates, you know that Christmas presents are not wrapped and placed under the tree until Christmas eve, because one of the nine kids in my family would most likely try and open them. I think I only stole 3 gifts. One being a dolphin clock (which I later went and rewrapped to give to my older sister), a #1 Dad coffee cup, and something else. I obviously wasn't a very good thief because the next morning, they noticed those gifts were missing, and then proceeded to follow my child size footprints from their back door to my house. Here comes Christmas morning, were all in the middle of opening presents at my house when the family knocks on our door. I was scared to death! I guess I offered them my gifts that I "bought" myself. They later called the cops on me. Police showed up. They scared me even more. My parents grounded me to my room for an entire day. Everyone found out about it and I was forever embarrassed about the whole thing. Since then, every Christmas we retell the story. It's become a nice Christmas ritual. But that part changed my life, because I turned into a really good kid. I never got in trouble in school, never got a detention, only an in-school suspension for forging my moms signature in third grade, but that was right before that christmas, so it's all good. I've received one speeding ticket, which actually isn't on my record because I paid for drivers Ed by myself and got a deferral for it. Oh yeah, and since that Christmas 11 or 12 years ago, my nickname has been the Grinch, thanks to my older brothers.
Oooooh man. I have many more stories that I will share later on. Peace out
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Summer Adventures.
This is what you call a "half-ass" post. Sorry.
This summer will be different, filled with a lot of the same events, but a few different people.
Last summer kicked butt, I was almost always busy, but it was filled with a little bit of stress. This summer, not so much. For one, since I moved back home, I don't have to worry about paying $445 a month for rent. Plus, I got a newer car that has very little mechanical problems and seeing that my old car was a stuck up little douche bag, that will be a HUGE weight off my shoulders.
One of the coolest things about this summer is....wait for it.....I will be 21!! Yes, I have been waiting for this day for a while now. Its not really about getting wasted all the time, because let's face it, I can't afford to. I have an awesome job with many responsibilities and I'm also not stupid enough to drink that much. Well, we'll see about that.
Since I had the world's least dependable car last year, I will now be able to go to the beach all the time like my family has done the last few years. One year, we literally went probably 3 or 4 times a week. It was amazing!
This post is really random but the weather has been awesome the last few days and it only excites me even more to make a "Trip to the beach" mix. It's a little cheesy. Some of the songs I'm embarrassed to include, but they're painfully addicting for a beach trip with a car full of people.
-Yolanda Be Cool- No Americano
-Michael Jackson- The Way You Make Me Feel
-Kid Cudi- Up Up and Away
-VV Brown- Shark in the Water
-Neon Trees- Animal
-Trey Songz- Say Aah
-Rihanna- Rude Boy
-K'naan- Wavin Flag
-Justin Bieber- Baby (don't judge me)
-Ben Folds- You Don't Know Me
-Taio Cruz- Dynamite
-Lady Gaga- Bad Romance
-Mac Miller- Knock Knock
-Jason Mraz- I'm Yours
-M.I.A.- Paper Planes
-Michael Jackson- Black or White
-Black Eyed Peas- I Gotta Feeling
-Outkast- Hey Ya
Ok, bye.
This summer will be different, filled with a lot of the same events, but a few different people.
Last summer kicked butt, I was almost always busy, but it was filled with a little bit of stress. This summer, not so much. For one, since I moved back home, I don't have to worry about paying $445 a month for rent. Plus, I got a newer car that has very little mechanical problems and seeing that my old car was a stuck up little douche bag, that will be a HUGE weight off my shoulders.
One of the coolest things about this summer is....wait for it.....I will be 21!! Yes, I have been waiting for this day for a while now. Its not really about getting wasted all the time, because let's face it, I can't afford to. I have an awesome job with many responsibilities and I'm also not stupid enough to drink that much. Well, we'll see about that.
Since I had the world's least dependable car last year, I will now be able to go to the beach all the time like my family has done the last few years. One year, we literally went probably 3 or 4 times a week. It was amazing!
This post is really random but the weather has been awesome the last few days and it only excites me even more to make a "Trip to the beach" mix. It's a little cheesy. Some of the songs I'm embarrassed to include, but they're painfully addicting for a beach trip with a car full of people.
-Yolanda Be Cool- No Americano
-Michael Jackson- The Way You Make Me Feel
-Kid Cudi- Up Up and Away
-VV Brown- Shark in the Water
-Neon Trees- Animal
-Trey Songz- Say Aah
-Rihanna- Rude Boy
-K'naan- Wavin Flag
-Justin Bieber- Baby (don't judge me)
-Ben Folds- You Don't Know Me
-Taio Cruz- Dynamite
-Lady Gaga- Bad Romance
-Mac Miller- Knock Knock
-Jason Mraz- I'm Yours
-M.I.A.- Paper Planes
-Michael Jackson- Black or White
-Black Eyed Peas- I Gotta Feeling
-Outkast- Hey Ya
Ok, bye.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Things that make me go "HAHAHAhahaHA!" ::PART ONE::
Basically, this is a list of things that make me laugh (either because it is unbelievably stupid...or actually funny). I know I could probably come up with a better post, BUT it's 2:54AM and I really don't care at this point. This may also be full of a few stereotypes, so I'm sorry in advance.
I LAUGH AT...
1. people who drive Hummers and the way they automatically think they're the shit.
2. people who think they know my job better than me.
3. people who come through my drive-thru and ram their car into the big yellow pole.
4. people with trashy cars and big, shiny rims.
5. old people.
6. the way former President Bush speaks.
7. the need to look like you're texting someone when walking by yourself so you don't look like a loser without any friends.
8. the times I ask customers at my Starbucks if they'd "like fries with that" and waiting for their reaction.
9. old people who try to dress like they're 23.
10. 40-year old woman who try to hang out with 20 year olds.
11. the lousy customer service at Walmart.
12. people who are jerks and speed ahead of everyone and then later you pass them because they got pulled over by the cops.
13. Cher's speaking and singing voice.
14. the creepy feelings myself and my fellow male baristas get when getting hit on by gay men.
15. the way people at the Dollar Store always know when I'm going to see a movie because of my large amount of candy and pop.
16. when black guys walk with their pants passed their crotch.
17. blondes who purposely act ditsy.
18. how boring South Bend is.
19. a girl who pointed out that black woman consume most of our sugar at Starbucks and white guys who try to act tough by asking for a black coffee then load it up with a bunch of crap at the condiment bar.
20. the way bitchy people get even more pissed off when you act really nice to them.
21. the times when cars full of teenge girls pull up in the drive-thru.
22. the moment the boy who used to always call me gay because I had a little lisp growing up walked inside my Starbucks hand-in-hand with his boyfriend......awkward.
23. the way husbands/boyfriends look while waiting for their wives/girlfriends as they shop in Victoria's Secret.
24. the actors who promote skin care commercials as they complain about the entire 3 pimples they've had to deal with during their life, as people with REAL skin acne suffer.
25. Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin//just Sarah Palin in general makes me cry a little.
MORE TO COME...
I LAUGH AT...
1. people who drive Hummers and the way they automatically think they're the shit.
2. people who think they know my job better than me.
3. people who come through my drive-thru and ram their car into the big yellow pole.
4. people with trashy cars and big, shiny rims.
5. old people.
6. the way former President Bush speaks.
7. the need to look like you're texting someone when walking by yourself so you don't look like a loser without any friends.
8. the times I ask customers at my Starbucks if they'd "like fries with that" and waiting for their reaction.
9. old people who try to dress like they're 23.
10. 40-year old woman who try to hang out with 20 year olds.
11. the lousy customer service at Walmart.
12. people who are jerks and speed ahead of everyone and then later you pass them because they got pulled over by the cops.
13. Cher's speaking and singing voice.
14. the creepy feelings myself and my fellow male baristas get when getting hit on by gay men.
15. the way people at the Dollar Store always know when I'm going to see a movie because of my large amount of candy and pop.
16. when black guys walk with their pants passed their crotch.
17. blondes who purposely act ditsy.
18. how boring South Bend is.
19. a girl who pointed out that black woman consume most of our sugar at Starbucks and white guys who try to act tough by asking for a black coffee then load it up with a bunch of crap at the condiment bar.
20. the way bitchy people get even more pissed off when you act really nice to them.
21. the times when cars full of teenge girls pull up in the drive-thru.
22. the moment the boy who used to always call me gay because I had a little lisp growing up walked inside my Starbucks hand-in-hand with his boyfriend......awkward.
23. the way husbands/boyfriends look while waiting for their wives/girlfriends as they shop in Victoria's Secret.
24. the actors who promote skin care commercials as they complain about the entire 3 pimples they've had to deal with during their life, as people with REAL skin acne suffer.
25. Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin//just Sarah Palin in general makes me cry a little.
MORE TO COME...
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Why Starbucks is awesome
I like to brag about my job, and I'm sure a lot of you know that. So I'm going to explain exactly why. I'm also writing this because at the moment, my mom is watching her soap operas..and if I have to listen to one more second of the pathetic lives of those on Days of Our Lives, I might just kill myself a little.
FREE FREE FREE
So lets start with the free stuff. As a Starbucks barista, we are all entitled to a free beverage on each of our breaks (including 30 minutes before work, our 2 ten-minute breaks, a thirty-minute meal, and 30 minutes after work). Any kind, any size. So as you can expect, when I first started working their back in 2008, I probably gained 10 lbs just after my first week there. And I can bet almost everyone does. It's sort of like Starbucks' own "freshman fifteen". They want each partner to be able to give their own personal explanations and experiences of each beverage in case a customer asks for our opinion. It's actually pretty tight. We get to eat and drink a lot. Eventually baristas get past the point of overload and cut down on their Frappuccino consumpion. Another thing that Starbucks pays attention to is the freshness of their coffee. So we have to dump our coffee every thirty minutes, whether it was touched or not. Dumping perfectly good pastries/mocha sauce/coffee simply because it has passed Starbucks' expiration point breaks my heart everytime. As I pour that "expired" mocha down the sink, I cry out "No! no! nO! NO!"....but in my head. Sadly the coffee giant teaches us how to hide our pain.
So along with a free beverage on every break, we are allowed to get a free markout EVERY week. That means a free pound of coffee or a free tin of tea. Yeah, it's amazing. It's about $5,200 of free whole bean coffee every year. Now that's a good deal!
FUN FUN FUN
Now to work at Starbucks you have to be a little sarcastic.....ok, you have to be very sarcastic. We as a group tend to be loud and obnoxious. Depending on what part of town you work at, customers love it or hate it. But our "Customer Voice" scores are amazing. My store usually receives a 100% on friendliness. But like most work places, if the day is crazy, we can get cranky, but if its slow...we really get to do our jobs. One criteria of our job is to be awesome--awesome at making drinks, awesome at giving our opinions, awesome at dealing with crappy rich snobs who think they rule the world, and awesome at selling stuff.--but they best part is, we like to be creative. Creativity flows like fresh hot mocha....it's ALL OVER THE PLACE! We get to be designers, comedians, professionals, kids, da bombs, and most importantly...the best part of your day. Many times throughout our shift, we get people who have lousy days in general, and the second they arrive to our store, they immediately feel better because we are good at putting a smile on their faces. I know it sounds corny, but it makes us feel good that we were able to "turn that frown upside down".
LOVE IS IN THE AIR
So over the last 3 years, I have met a ton of baristas who are either dating or are married to someone they met while working together at Starbucks or who were at one point a customer of theirs. I can count off hand 12 couples who met at Starbucks. It's pretty astonishing. I have always thought that one day, I will most likely marry a woman who was once a customer of mine or a coworker. It's bound to happen, I swear. That's another cool thing about my workplace...it's flocking with woman! Hello ladies....
FREE FREE FREE
So lets start with the free stuff. As a Starbucks barista, we are all entitled to a free beverage on each of our breaks (including 30 minutes before work, our 2 ten-minute breaks, a thirty-minute meal, and 30 minutes after work). Any kind, any size. So as you can expect, when I first started working their back in 2008, I probably gained 10 lbs just after my first week there. And I can bet almost everyone does. It's sort of like Starbucks' own "freshman fifteen". They want each partner to be able to give their own personal explanations and experiences of each beverage in case a customer asks for our opinion. It's actually pretty tight. We get to eat and drink a lot. Eventually baristas get past the point of overload and cut down on their Frappuccino consumpion. Another thing that Starbucks pays attention to is the freshness of their coffee. So we have to dump our coffee every thirty minutes, whether it was touched or not. Dumping perfectly good pastries/mocha sauce/coffee simply because it has passed Starbucks' expiration point breaks my heart everytime. As I pour that "expired" mocha down the sink, I cry out "No! no! nO! NO!"....but in my head. Sadly the coffee giant teaches us how to hide our pain.
So along with a free beverage on every break, we are allowed to get a free markout EVERY week. That means a free pound of coffee or a free tin of tea. Yeah, it's amazing. It's about $5,200 of free whole bean coffee every year. Now that's a good deal!
FUN FUN FUN
Now to work at Starbucks you have to be a little sarcastic.....ok, you have to be very sarcastic. We as a group tend to be loud and obnoxious. Depending on what part of town you work at, customers love it or hate it. But our "Customer Voice" scores are amazing. My store usually receives a 100% on friendliness. But like most work places, if the day is crazy, we can get cranky, but if its slow...we really get to do our jobs. One criteria of our job is to be awesome--awesome at making drinks, awesome at giving our opinions, awesome at dealing with crappy rich snobs who think they rule the world, and awesome at selling stuff.--but they best part is, we like to be creative. Creativity flows like fresh hot mocha....it's ALL OVER THE PLACE! We get to be designers, comedians, professionals, kids, da bombs, and most importantly...the best part of your day. Many times throughout our shift, we get people who have lousy days in general, and the second they arrive to our store, they immediately feel better because we are good at putting a smile on their faces. I know it sounds corny, but it makes us feel good that we were able to "turn that frown upside down".
LOVE IS IN THE AIR
So over the last 3 years, I have met a ton of baristas who are either dating or are married to someone they met while working together at Starbucks or who were at one point a customer of theirs. I can count off hand 12 couples who met at Starbucks. It's pretty astonishing. I have always thought that one day, I will most likely marry a woman who was once a customer of mine or a coworker. It's bound to happen, I swear. That's another cool thing about my workplace...it's flocking with woman! Hello ladies....
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