This is sad, but before I wrote the first sentence, this blog post was intended to be about how awesome summer is, how awesome my friends are and my happiness...then I got a little off track and started talking about how much it sucks to be single right now. I swear I had good intentions, but I think it's also necessary for me to get this out before I go insane.
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It's 4th of July weekend and it's only just starting to feel like summer. Recently I've been trying to act my age. This might sound strange, but for the last year I've only been a work-a-holic. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, as most of you know by what you've been reading. But I've been feeling like I'm doing too much and not relaxing enough. I cant really say I have a stressful life because it really isn't too tiring, but I need to do more of nothing. When I say nothing, I mean I need to find that separation between work and my social life. It's very likely that I'm just on a social high since all my friends are finally home for the summer and that means I'm constantly with people. I definitely don't regret not going to college because I'm lucky enough to have found my career so early in life, but I sometimes wish I had a little bit more of the "college experience", meaning no work and all play.
I turned 21 a little over five weeks ago and my 21st birthday was a blast, and I'm pretty sure most people have a great time with the whole bar scene on their birthday. Since my birthday night, I had gone an entire 4 weeks before I went back out to try it all again...and I really enjoyed it again. I'm not a crazy partier for a few reasons, one because alcoholics are known in my family and I don't want to struggle those same demons, and also it's a huge waste of money to be spending my whole pay check on booze. I've been going out with the same group of friends the last few weekends and it's actually been a completely different experience than I thought it was. I guess you have to choose the right bar, but the scene is quite fascinating. We've been hitting up the same place and the people there are really chill. Before I was of age, I imagined the bars to be filled with retarded assholes who just wanted to fight. I'm sure plenty of bars are filled with those people, but it's been surprisingly sweet. Just as long as you're smart and don't attempt to drive drunk, you can have an awesome time relaxing with good people. I tried hookah the other night (which, I'll admit, I thought was just for weed and other crap) and it was pretty cool, as long as you limit yourself. I definitely got a little light headed.
And now comes my sob story. Here it goes. I'm sick of being single! Up until now I've honestly been cool with it and I haven't had time for it. I love life and what God has provided for me and I know he's going to provide me with an amazing woman...but I can't help but want it right about now. People always ask me why I don't have a girlfriend and why I've never had a serious one. I feel they get this "wow, what a loser" thought when they think about a 21 year old guy who has never had a serious girlfriend. I can careless about what people think but at the same time, I'm ready. It's funny because all the people at my store make fun of me because I get so ga-ga whenever a baby comes into my store. I don't know, I'm a freak I guess. I want lots of babies.
I know why I'm still single. It's because I have high standards. I'm not talking about looks (but I must say, if you're taller than me, it's not gonna work out. it will for some other guy, just not me), I'm talking about morals. I'm a Christian and some things I think should wait until you're in love. Sadly it's difficult to meet girls with morals at a party scene because all they want are douche bags who will make them feel important and have sex with them. That's not my type of girl. Quite a few girls from my high school class are exactly like that. They're not bad people, and they're actually cool, but they've just gone for the wrong things. They show up to class parties in barely legal-almost prostitute style skirts and come off as slutty. I don't want a slut, sorry. I've had a few hook ups over the last few years and it still left me feeling empty, which I must say, if you're looking for love, you won't find it if alcohol is involved.
THE FRIEND ZONE
Another problem of mine is probably the worlds worst thing ever...THE FRIEND ZONE. It sucks for guys who are actually interested in a girl and let it go too far. And when I say too far, I mean the point where you're just looked at as a friend and not a potential date. For any of you who are die-hards fans of the tv show, Friends...you will know what I mean. In the show, there is a character named Chandler Bing, he is known for being unbelievably sarcastic. In one episode, another character named Phoebe has a date with a psychiatrist who can tell why people do and talk the way they do, because he studies personalities I guess. So anyway, he meets Chandler and from his personality, he tells him that his sarcasm and jokes are a defense mechanism towards women. That has "ME" written all over it. I think I can be a little too sarcastic when it comes to meeting girls. They all think it's funny and I'll admit, they all really like me, but only as a friend after a while. I have a lot of friends and we tend to be sarcastic and funny. I think I use it more when I get nervous around a girl and it can probably turn her off a little. I don't know whose problem that is. I'm hoping it's the girls problem and that God will send me a woman who loves my sarcastic humor.
Now I'm going to go to bed. This weekend has really been awesome and summer is just starting. My life really does NOT suck, and I'm thankful for it. I'm just ready for the dating life to begin. I hope you all have an amazing 4th of July weekend! And for the other people who are reading from other counties and don't celebrate Independence Day, have a good night I guess.
Any advice? Words of wisdom? You wanna scream at me about something? Go ahead, just leave a comment below!
