Ok, you're probably thinking..."Wow Ben, that title is gross and wildly inappropriate!". Thats true, but then again, you're the one who clicked the blog and started reading...pervert..
HAHAHAHAHA! You actually clicked this thinking I was going to talk about sex. I can almost bet this will be one of my most popular posts just because of the title.
So anyways, I've made my mark and am still happy. I just had my 3 year anniversary with Starbucks and I'm so glad I made it this far. If Starbucks and I were married, we'd still feel like newlyweds and I'm sure the sex would be awesome. I'm officially done with the sex references. Back to what I should be writing about.
3 years ago, I had my interview for Starbucks on my 18th birthday. I was scared to death. I had never worked a real job before and I had very little experience. I had done a lot of yard jobs for neighbors and had been a male nanny for a really cool family for part of a summer. So when it came to Starbucks, I was more than ready. I'm pretty sure my manager at the time knew I was excited just by looking at my application. I wrote it beautifully but was unbelievably corny.
I first got a taste of the Starbucks atmosphere when I was about 11 or 12 when I went on one of my many adventures with my older sister to a Barnes & Noble where they had a Starbucks cafe. We did a lot of hanging out there and at another local coffee shop called Lula's Cafe in South Bend. At this point, there weren't any corporate Starbucks stores within 100 miles, so I was kind of limited. But every time, the experience was amazing and I knew right away that this profession would be my future. I wouldn't call it as much a profession as I would call it a way of life. Everyday, I see people that either fill me up with so much joy or people that completely piss me off...thank God the latter is to a minimal. Sadly, I could probably remember every little detail about the day I got the call informing me that I got the job. It was a few weeks after junior year in high school and I was at a local high school taking the SATs and when I got out of the building, I went to my car where my cell phone was located (since we weren't allowed to bring our cell phones with us) and I saw the two greatest phrases on my phone -1 MISSED CALL- and -ONE VOICEMAIL-. I knew almost instantly that it was going to be a great day, and it was.
----My first store was the newest store in the city and the most poorly located store. It was on Portage Road and was a bridge away from the ghetto. It had the worlds smallest advertising sign. Most people didn't even know the store existed. It was placed in the middle of a McDonalds and a Meijers grocery store. Don't get me wrong, it was probably my favorite store I've worked at, my current store has the best people, but the Portage store was the most well built. There was a limited supply of teenage girls to hit on and mostly consisted of stay-at-home moms. It was a slow store that barely provided a morning rush. But it was amazing.
----My next store was decent. I'll leave it that.
----But my third and current store is amazing. It has an amazing crew and super cool customers. Some of them read my blog so I'm gonna say it...CRISTIN AND STEVE ARE CRAZY!
Now here is a list of some of my unusual experiences over the last 3 years.
-Old people coming into my first store to order a Double Cheeseburger.
-A homeless woman sneaking into the cafe during the middle of the night while the milkman delivers the goods. Let's just say she scared the shit out of the openers the next morning.
-The guy who took a crap in the middle of the bathroom.
-Having two robberies happen next door to us (literally 20 feet away from our entrance) without us knowing.
-Once last summer on a very hot day, all the pipes in my old building clogged somehow and therefore all the floor drains overflowed. Let's just say it smelt like a dumpster filled with chunky milk and poop.
-We had a customer who I'm almost positive is schizo because people witnessed him talking to himself a few times. I felt bad cause the guy was always really cool to me. He usually came through the drive-thru to get his white chocolate mocha Frappuccino, but one day he came in, I rang him up on the register and gave him back his change, and out of no where, he chucks the change at the back of my fellow baristas head and starts screaming at him. It all ended a minute later.
-We had a customer who came in once in a while, but one day he would come in dressed as a man, and then the next day come dressed as a woman. I wouldn't have judged him if he didn't stare at me the entire time he was in my cafe.
-We had a ridiculous amount of people who would run into somebody else's car while waiting in line in drive-thru. I'm not too sure how they all managed to do that.
-Once a lady in her mid-forties asked me if I was into cougars...
THANKS STARBUCKS!
